Office banshee

What is it about alarms nowadays? They hardly ever evoke alarm, more likely to raise irritation. There's the neighbour's house alarm which seems to be set off by your average household fly. Then there's the car alarm somewhere down the road which leads one to fantasise about baseball bats and ear muffs at 4.32 in the morning.

Today, at the precise moment I settled my cup of tea down next to the mouse, an electronic alarm sounded. It starts nearly apologetically and then builds up to a crescendo, all the while robotically advocating that we should evacuate the building.

I should explain I wasn't with the cat at home, where the smoke alarms have been moved to window sills due to offensive tones at the hint of a smell of a burnt crumb. They're often  picked up and shaken out the window - desperate attempts to quell the electronic banshee. I don't think my cooking skills are quite as negligent as the frequency of the screams of the batteried-round-ones would suggest.

Anyway, back in the office. The fire wardens don their flouros and then they do what fire wardens do - I'm not sure exactly what because I've never been asked or have been deemed responsible enough to be offered the job (and I'm not a good volunteerer for jobs that might require effort coupled with responsibility).

Alas, office folk don't pop up like meerkats at the sound of the alarm, seeking the nearest escape, faces twitching in abject fear.

Some officelings check out the weather to see if a jacket will be required and others rootle around for handbags or coffee cards. There is no urgency as one officeling decides between a scarf or jacket. Pockets are checked for phones as folk meander to the fire escapes. Today, I had to remind a fellow where it actually was.

Chortling down the stairs we lament the loss of work time for a nanosecond quickly moving on to see if we could manage a quick trip to the bank while the fire engine is in attendence.

Am I hailing complacency? Possibly, but not intentionally. No, I'm just thinking about the office mechanics of the alarm that cries wolf.

Fingers crossed, the wolf will n'eer appear.