Chocologic

What is it about chocolate? How does it manage to ursurp the sensibility chip in the most rational?

It's an antitoxidant which means that it's like eating a tomato only it's brown. For some unknown reason the tomato doesn't invite the tongue teasing and testing that chocolate endures. I've never seen anyone suck a tomato but then I've never jumped off a bridge with a bit of elastic stuck to my foot. A sheltered existence some might say but having two live feet firmly on the ground is something I pride myself on.

Today, when negotiating a piece of Toblerone, carefully peeling away the tinfoil, I reasoned that these two brown morsels could last me through to dinner. Afterall, it only had seven hours to fill in. Suffice to say, it didn't and re-fuelling was required by something a little more substantial and less brown a little later on.

This particular chocolate was being offered in the lunchroom at work. The approach to eating in the lunchroom is vastly different to eating at home or in your car. Had that bar been stationed in the fridge at home, the chocologic would've really kicked in. Some use this logic to ration it, two pieces a night viewing Coro with a cuppa. I do not. I can not.

My rationale for eating said chocolate is exactly that, eat it. Eat it all. Why bother dividing it in your head, especially if you're mathematically challenged. By doing that you use up all the health giving calories before they've even reached your tongue.

As a point, do you often torture yourself on the bathroom (should be 'bath-rue') scales, manoeurvring your tummy so that you can read the malignant figures at your feet? Well, do it get off and balance a packet of chocolate biscuits on your head -get back on and voila - there is no change in the reading. Thus proving eating biscuits and chocolate plays no part in weight gain. Note of caution: remove biscuits from a tin or cookie jar as this could cause you serious injury to both body and spirit.

Chocologic does not confine itself to cocoa derivatives. It's that over thinking crashing through scenario after scenario in your small cranial colesseum. If you'd only kept your right hand on the steering wheel instead of offering another driver a single-digit driving directive you'd not be driving around in the panel-beater's courtesy car. Or if only you'd decided to wear yellow instead of red when you were crossing that field with all those udder-less cows in it.

Well, as this is in chocological order - which is an oxymoron as chocology has no order and is a nonsensical at the best of times except when reordered ad naseum in your head - then it's bedtime and time to offer another note of caution. Do not leave chocolate under your pillow with the electric blanket on. The initial heart shape, romantic in solidity but the ensuing gooey mess is reminescent of something much less so.

Sweet dreams.